Recently I have been feeling... not myself. I feel like an empty shell, with no true meaning. Sometimes I feel like I am bound to a code, and I can't choose another path. Sometimes I feel like the path I am destined to follow will only end in catastrophic events. Recently... I have felt really overwhelmed. I have started my freshman year in high school, and I am in all honors classes. I have already taken Algebra I and English I, but I feel overwhelmed even though I have not skipped anything important. Then there is having two electives at once. I take Talented Art and I am in Band. They may be electives, but they are graded just like my regular classes. I often worry about my future in high school. I have gone far enough to where I will be able to graduate early in my senior year, but how will I take P.E.? I can't skip that class. The thing is, I can't drop out of Art or Band. I couldn't ever bring myself to it. I want to have a career in Graphic Designing like my grandmother, and music is my life. I feel like I belong with the Arts. Music and Art... they mean too much to me. How will I be able to graduate? I love both of them, but Band is one of my most overwhelming classes. There are rehearsals every weak, Tuesday - Thursday. Missing just one has a devastating effect on my grade. I want to make it to every rehearsal, but there are things that need to be done. How can I get these things done? I am not a very fast worker. School work or homework takes me a lot of time. If only it was fun for me, then I wouldn't mind how long it takes, but it isn't fun. You would be surprised by how little I accomplish in three hours. There are chores that keep me from doing much. I have to cook, do some laundry, keep our room clean ( I share my room with my sister, who never cleans ), do dishes, help my sister with her homework, memorize songs for band ( we currently have over 30 songs on our song list ), and I try to maintain my own server. It may seem like I am just throwing a fit over little chores, but with so much on my mind, it is hard. My dad lost his job, and I found out, despite my parents' best efforts to keep it hidden. I am scared of having to loose our house again, of having to leave the place I grew to love... again. Recently my grandmother passed away over the summer, and we don't hear much from our grandfather. It worries me that our visits are so rare. I feel like it is somehow my fault. My mind is telling me that it isn't, but my heart is saying that there is something I didn't do. My grades are slowly dropping, and I have trouble with focusing on the right task. Sometimes I wake up and feel like a hollow figure, like a shell. Maybe I feel like that sometimes so I can block how I really feel. The thing is, I would rather feel pain, agony, fear, and grief that feel nothing. I don't feel much at school, but before I go to bed, my mind races and my head becomes filled with these thoughts. They are depressing, frightening thoughts, but at least I feel something. I just want to be able to feel something positive. I want to be able to tell myself that everything is going to be okay. The thing is, I know something is going to go wrong, or I am going to mess it up. How could it be okay?
Music. If I ever feel like giving up on something because I just can't do it, music is the solution. It sounds like you're constantly working and never taking a break. If you do, you would probably feel a lot better and possibly be able to get your work done quicker. I'm not sure that would help, but try it anyway.
Hi erika ! so sad that youre feeling that bad. I understand how badly you want to carry on both things, but cant because you have to much on your plate that the moment. I feel like that sometimes, its normal!! Options i think you should consider. 1.Talk to your parents about it, maybe they can figure something. (i.e less chores and such) 2. Deeply think about what you love most. Make up a mind map of what you want to accomplish in life, and choose the most appealing one: Music, art or studies 3. Talk to your grandfather! Ask him how hes feeling, problems in his life and such. Im sure that'll make him AND YOU feel better 4. Forget about everything. Pick a day where you just hangout with your friends 5.Hope this helps
tbh i used to feel the same way as for like six years, and it ended just 5 weeks ago. basically, what kind of went down is that the school i went to in middle school was like 50% bullies or something so when i went to high school, none of the bullies were there and i was pretty happy from then on. so basically my advice is to find the problem, and find a way to fi it. nigahiga made a viddeo i thought was comforting Spoiler
I'm currently a senior in High School. Majority of my fellow seniors literally have no idea what they want to do in life still. There's no pressure there. As far as classes go, the classes will only get tougher in later years. This is important because it's up to you whether you want to meet the challenges of tackling AP classes and other classes that involve rigorous studying. The important part is sticking with your choices and going with your gut really. If you take an honors class, then just do the work. You'll also find that people will be a lot more mature and you're likely to have tons of fun with new people. In general it's a new world of possibilities and responsibilities, both fun and not fun. You can learn how to freakin drive soon lol Don't know whether this is really comforting or not, but it's my take on it. Hopefully it helps you.
You guys are right. Even if everything just went wrong, there is still that one door that I can choose to open. I can choose to make it better. And I have friends to reach out to me and give me support. People I know in real life, who are like you. Friends who really want to make sure that I am okay.
Hi there, sorry that you're feeling like this. I myself have started the English equivalent of high school (but it's for 17-18 yr olds) and the workload is a massive step up there too, and they expect me to learn a lot of the class content by myself as well as taking part in extra activities- this is gonna take me a while to get used to and of course it's quite tough. I think it is very important that you carry on with the things you enjoy the most because you know what, grades are really not the most important things in the world although, of course, everyone wants to do as well as they can. You just do your best and carry on with what you enjoy. Also, just know that things do get better :3
Heya! i'm not here to trigger anyone's sadness or errr anything really, please don't let this story get to you, just thought sharing a story never harm, ya? not sure if you still want to know mah story or not but yer, here we go. I was born in New Zealand, went to and grew up in China (1yr old - 14 yr old), then moved to Australia since 14. Now i'm 17. Up to now, i've been moving a lot <well maybe not like a lot-a lot, but like, a lot > moving to Australia was painful af. moving away from all my families, friends, dog, a place im most familiar to, home...etc. moving into an apartment with 3 sisters that I haven't really talked to in 6 years, coming to this 'foreign' country, speaking a foreign language, new friends, new people, new life style, even the season's completely opposite from China like wtf? Confusion, home sick, music, more confusion, sad, tears, fake smiles, lost emotions, happiness? tears? anger? none, all gone, language barrier, try, give up, silence, silence... and BAM, here comes the-stupid-little-swat-thingy-that-everyone-hates-and-trust-me-you-never-want-to-experience-thingy-called >Depression. i kept it silence, wrote letters to myself, did diaries, read, avoid being depressed and stuff like i suffered from it for over 2 years, dump it this year i think. and yea i dont really know when it actually happened or ended. just did my worst fear now is to have it come back to me. that. but but but, i use to tell myself that I'm a warrior who fights against depression. i tend to forget the negative stuff so can't recall much now, unless i look back the letters and diaries. Anyways. What helps? <base on what I did> 1. diary, read, letters to yourself. < i wrote letters as jacqueline(negative) and jackie(positive). whenever im depressed i write as jacqueline, and would complain about everything in life; when im positive, i would read jacqueline's letters and write back as jackie, and write some suggestions of how to solve each problem.> 2. do what you enjoy doing <set a goal> <don't let your dreams be dreams> 3. talk to someone. <you might be thinking that everyone says that, and like it's so tiring to socialize or whatnot; ever think of why people always tell you that? Because it's true babe> if it's an internet friend then sure, go ahead. it helps you to be more open about these kinda stuff, cus they some are sensitive topics. then try to talk to family about it. <for me, i had a few deep conversations with sisters, Oh My God did it help.> 4. Never blame yourself! Never! <trust me, this is the worst thing you can do> <what i use to tell myself when i did blame myself? "not everything's about you, jacqueline"> <harsh? yea maybe, but true, in a way> 5. shower or hot bath <gives you time to think about life> 6. sleep early and exercise. <sleep early cus the silence at night is the loudest noise> <exercise cus again, setting a goal and feeling like you've achieved something is hella important> 7. goals, achievements, being passionate about something. <for me, in 2 years, they were: knitting/crochet, origami, diary, read, ukulele, penny boarding, drawing, learning languages- Japanese & sign language , and random crap> <but like, they not only helped with mah depression, i also learnt a lottttt> 8. Explore the ways out. <^those are the ways I explored on my own. think of it as an adventure cus you'll get better eventually. it's always fun to explore.> [also helps with studies too, it's never fun to study 'how' others are studying. explore, find your own way of studying, it'll suit you the most. "Study smart, not study hard,"] 9. lower your expectation. <on relationships and yourself> Quotes that helped me? "Time heals everything." "Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae." = "Every man is the archect of their own fortune." "Alone does not mean lonely." "Non est ad astra mollis e terris via" = "There's no easy way from the earth to the stars." "Don't apologize for who you are." "The best way to predict the future is to create it." "Focus on the things that will last." Holy poop, i'm impressed of how much i wrote xD lol sorry about that <3 don't have to read it lol, made this post for fun and hopefully it helps
Erika I know how you feel. Most of my life I've dealt with anxiety and depression, just find whatever suits you most. I listen to music and i draw to ease this pain. Most of all, just talk to someone about it. I would say you should try to ignore bullies, and try to do something that would take your mind of of it. When I started feeling the same way you're right now, I didn't know what to do. I went to someone (my friend) and she told me her story and pulled me through this period of darkness. Erika, I know you're a lovely, sweet, caring person. I can't stand to see you feel this way. Please, get help before anything worse happens. Onto the school stuff - If you have trouble with ANYTHING, ask a friend for help or anyone. When I'm stressed out because of schoolwork or my grades, I just come in for extra help. I'm constantly bullied due to my height. But hey? It comes sometime in your life. Just block out people who cause trouble for you. I suggest you try these methods to calm yourself down: 1.) Listen to music - I listen to music to take my mind off of it. 2.) Read or Draw - I mainly draw to release all of the sadness or anger that has bottled up inside of me. 3.) Go over to a friends house - Have a sleepover, or go to your friend's house for fun. This will help you. Just DON'T keep your emotions inside. This will cause you to feel worse. I know this because it once happened to me. If you need ANY help , I mean ANY, I'm here to help. Everyone here is very supportive. Don't be shy or hesitant to ask. Please hang in there. ~Killjoy
I know exactly how you are feeling, Erika. I have anxiety and I'm an aspiring model, so it is very hard to just be myself in front of the camera. But enough about me. Here are some things that may help you: 1. Listening to music. Don't listen to sad music, though. Listen to feel-good music, like Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic. 2. Take part in a fun activity, such as horseback riding. Whenever I go riding, I feel as if there isn't anybody else in the world except for the horse and I, our hearts beating as one. 3. Go outside and enjoy the fresh air. Taking a break from a situation is DEFINITELY an option, and don't let anybody tell you different. 4. Talk to a friend. Good friends will always make you feel better when you're struggling with a problem. If they don't, you're not doing something wrong. It's them. 5. Watch your favorite movie or TV show. I can just guarantee you will feel better after doing this, as it's a nice break. I feel for you, Erika, and I will always be there for you if you have any problems. Just let me know if you need anything, and I'll be there to help! ~Accelero
